The Microevolution of Self
Click on the video above to hear this idea.
Here’s a simple truth that becomes obvious when you step back and take a look at it. If we want to become better communicators, we need to become better people. We need to become more conscious of what we say and do and the impact we have on others.
The truth is, we’ve all said and done things that we regret. And regret is HEAVY. It weighs on us.
We need to recognize that what we say to people leaves a mark. When we’re critical, we can damage people’s self-confidence or sense of self-worth. I hear examples of it all the time when I’m coaching leaders and teams. People can replay conversations that happened years ago, word for word. And I can see the negative impact that someone’s comments are still having on them today.
The problem is that we tend excuse our behavior and say, “I was just stressed; that’s not who I am.” And it usually isn’t who we are, but it is definitely an aspect of us that needs some work.
The good news is that we all have the ability to change. We can become more conscious about how we communicate and the impact that we have on others. We can intentionally become the person we know we are capable of being. All it takes is a desire to really want to become that person and a simple practice that transforms who you are and how you express yourself.
THE MICROEVOLUTION OF SELF
This is the whole idea behind the microevolution of self. We take small steps every day to become that better version of ourselves––the person we know we’re capable of being when we’re at our best. We intentionally communicate in ways that begin to shift our patterns and evolve who we are.
This process supports your ability to take what you know and create an intentional practice, until your new behaviors become second nature. The idea is to start small and build one skill at a time. And moment by moment, day by day, week by week, we strengthen our self-awareness, we learn, and we evolve.
This process works on three levels:
What you know. This is about acquiring the knowledge you need to grow. You have to know what you need to do differently (or more of) in order to evolve and change.
What you do. This about establishing a practice where you consistently apply what you know. You have to activate the ideas you’ve learned; knowledge alone does not create change.
Who you are. This is about embodying the practice. When your new behaviors become automatic; it’s simply who you are, how you communicate, and how you treat people.
IDEAS TO GET YOU STARTED.
In case you’re uncertain of where to begin, here are a few ideas that will “give you the knowledge” you need to communicate more effectively and become a better person. Simply pick one and put it into action, today!
Be present and listen. Give people your full attention. Put away your phone, silence your notifications, and remove all distractions. Listening is one of the fastest ways to improve your relationships and build trust.
Be sincere. Be genuine, honest, and speak with integrity. If you say something, mean it. Make sure your public and private conversations align. Being sincere also means no gossiping.
Be kind. Let people know you care about them. Acknowledge their contributions. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Show some compassion. Communication is a human skill and we’d all benefit from treating one another with a little more kindness.
CREATE A DAILY PRACTICE
This is the step where you take “what you know” and activate the ideas to create the change that you’d like to experience in yourself, in your relationships, and in the way you communicate.
Set an intention and write it down. Remember to keep it positive, in the present tense, and start with the words “I am…”
Review it every day. This works to program your subconscious mind and keeps the new behavior in your conscious awareness.
Use visual reminders. Put up post-it notes or set reminders to keep you connected to your new communication behaviors.
Check in. At the end of the day, or after a conversation, see how well you’re doing. Celebrate the small wins and course correct when you see room for improvement.
When you begin transforming who you are, you also positively impacting everyone around you. This means that every time you have a positive interaction with someone at work, you’re unconsciously shaping the behavior within your team and organization. The same holds true for your family and friends, so be sure to apply this idea to every important relationship in your life.
I hope you enjoy experiencing how much better life can be when you communicate more consciously. I’m so glad you’re here and I’ll see you soon.
Happily,
Maryanne
