Grow Yourself, Grow Your Impact
Most of us want to make a difference in the world around us—whether that’s being heard, respected, or inspiring positive change. But too often, we focus on the wrong things in our efforts to create that impact. We focus on quick fixes, like choosing the perfect words or projecting confidence, hoping these will lead to more influence. When our efforts fall flat, it can feel discouraging—like we’re not being seen or heard in the way we want.
True, lasting influence doesn’t come from what we say or do alone—it’s rooted in who we are. And it begins with personal growth, because the qualities that inspire trust, respect, and connection come from within.
Qualities like self-awareness, empathy, openness, patience, resilience, sincerity, and the ability to manage conflict, to name a few. These aren’t just skills we read about and acquire; they’re traits we grow into. And that growth requires time, practice, and a willingness to expand our comfort zones.
Stepping outside what feels familiar can be uncomfortable, but it’s essential for growth. When we stay well within our comfort zones, we don’t change—we stagnate.
Change is a choice.
Whether you choose to stay where you are or expand your boundaries is up to you. The reality is attitudes toward change vary, and we all fall somewhere on the spectrum. For some, change feels like a threat, stirring up resistance or fear. For others, it’s a challenge, offering an opportunity to grow and explore new possibilities. How we view change shapes the stories we tell ourselves and the actions we take—or avoid.
Some people resist change, saying things like, “This is me, for better or worse—I’m not here to please everyone.” Others fear change, preferring the familiarity of their unhappiness over the uncertainty of the unknown. They’ll often say, “At least I know what to expect” or “Change is hard, and I don’t have the energy for it right now.” Still, others reflect on past attempts to change and feel defeated, thinking, “I’ve tried before, and nothing ever changes.”
And then there are those who embrace it. They say, “Even small steps forward are better than standing still,” “Change feels scary, but staying stuck feels worse,” or “This isn’t easy, but it’s worth it.”
If you’re reading this, you’re likely open to learning and exploring ways to grow. So, let’s get started!
Who We Are Shapes How We Connect with Others
To be clear, effective communication isn’t something you master on your first attempt. It’s a skill that evolves as you evolve. And it takes practice, reflection, and intentionality.
It’s easy to understand the importance of qualities like patience and listening; the real challenge is in applying them day to day. This is normal—it takes time and effort to build habits, but small, consistent steps lead to significant growth. The key is to approach these moments with intention and persistence, knowing that every time you practice you learn and grow.
And that practice is meaningful. It takes a minute to build the qualities that shape your character––and it’s worth it. How you respond when you're under stress, distracted, or caught off guard is a reflection of the habits you've developed—and the effort to strengthen those habits pays off in more meaningful connections, greater trust, and a deeper sense of confidence.
This is where your daily practice comes in: transforming awareness into action through simple, deliberate steps that bring your best qualities forward, even under pressure.
Choose Your Focus, Elevate Your Style
To make meaningful progress, it’s essential to focus your efforts. Start with your communication style—pinpoint a specific area to improve or a skill to develop. Identify a weakness you’ve noticed or choose one of the communication skills from the list below that resonates with you.
Focusing on these skills not only helps you grow but also enhances your ability to inspire and connect with others, building your influence naturally.
Once you’ve chosen your focus, use the daily practice framework to bring it to life. Remember, the goal is progress, not perfection. With small, intentional steps, you’ll align your actions with the communicator—and the person—you want to become.
Essential Communication Skills
Intentional Communication Takes Practice
Change unfolds one choice at a time. When you focus on a specific skill and weave your strategies into your daily routine, you can start to create real momentum. These small shifts, practiced with consistency, will elevate how you communicate—and they will positively reshape how you show up in the world.
These small shifts not only reshape how you communicate but also strengthen your relationships and expand your influence. Every small change builds upon the last, creating momentum that transforms your habits over time.
Create a Daily Practice: 5 Simple Steps
Set Your Intention
Start your day with a clear and purposeful intention. Use the design:Start your intention with, "I am [quality/skill]."
For example: “I am calm, patient, and present when others are talking.”
Pair your intention with an elevated emotion that reflects how you want to feel (e.g., confident and calm).Review your intention(s) in the morning and throughout the day to stay focused and connected to your new behaviors.
Link to a Routine
Tie your intention-setting to something you already do daily, such as making coffee or brushing your teeth. Use this simple "If...then" prompt:If I am brushing my teeth, then I will review my intention.
This makes the habit easy to integrate into your routine.Practice Your Strategy
As you go about your day, look for specific opportunities to activate the skill. For example, if you're working on active listening:Commit to pausing and taking a breath before you respond to make sure people are finished and that your delivery sounds calm.
Use moments like team meetings, casual conversations, or even phone calls to practice intentionally.
Create Visual Cues
Design your environment to remind you of your commitment.Put sticky notes on your computer with your intention.
Set calendar reminders before meetings to give yourself a few minutes to prepare for how you want to show up.
Set a screen saver that inspires you, such as, “Pause and breathe before you speak.”
End-of-Day Check-In
Spend a few minutes reflecting on your progress.What went well? Celebrate small wins, like staying patient or managing conflict while staying calm.
What could have been better? Identify one area for improvement tomorrow.
Your Influence Grows as You Do
True influence isn’t about control—it’s about earning trust, inspiring others, and making meaningful connections. When you commit to growing yourself through intentional practice, you create a ripple effect: the more aligned, self-aware, and skilled you become, the greater your ability to influence outcomes and relationships in a positive way.
As you build these qualities and sharpen your communication skills, you’ll notice the difference—not only in how others respond to you but in how you show up in the world. Influence isn’t given; it’s cultivated through daily choices, consistent practice, and a willingness to grow.
So, start today. Choose one skill, one quality, or one strategy to work on, and commit to bringing it to life in your interactions. With time and effort, you’ll find that as you grow yourself, your ability to influence—at work, at home, and in life—will grow with you.
Here’s to growing yourself—and your influence!
Happily,
Maryanne
P.S. Mark your calendar! I have a free class coming your way on 12/12/24.
As you work on growing yourself and your communication skills, it’s natural to encounter moments of stress that challenge your progress. Learning to stay calm, clear, and confident under pressure is essential to showing up as the best version of yourself—and influencing others effectively.
If you’re ready to take the next step, join me for my free class, Communicate at Your Best Under Stress. You’ll learn practical strategies to handle high-pressure situations with poise, manage stress in your communication style, and build trust and connection even in tough moments.
