We’ve all been there. Our fingers are flying across the keyboard, emotions are running high, and the pressure is pushing us to get something out quickly. And we’ve all had times we wished we’d taken a beat before hitting “send”!

Email can be efficient, but it’s also easy to misread, misinterpret, or misuse—especially when we’re moving fast, feeling triggered, or reacting instead of responding. If we want to communicate effectively (and we do!), we need to slow down long enough to be thoughtful, clear, and kind.

The next time you’re about to hit “send,” take a breath and run through this quick 7-question checklist. Doing so will help you communicate with more clarity, confidence, and influence. And isn’t that what you’re really after? The few minutes it takes to build this practice feel so much better than the swirl of regret. Give it a try. You’ll be glad you did.

1. Am I Calm and Centered?

Before you send, check in. If you're feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, or emotionally charged, give yourself a little space. Breathe. Walk away for five minutes if you can. And reset before you respond. Emails written in reaction mode almost always land with unnecessary heat and force.

⦾ Pause to respond, so you don’t overreact.

2. What’s My Intent?

Are you trying to inform, request, clarify, resolve, connect, or persuade? Knowing your purpose helps you craft your message clearly. It also helps the reader know how to respond.

⦾ Intentionality is the foundation of great communication and better connections.

3. Would I Say This Differently If We Were Face-to-Face?

Want to know if your tone or wording feels too bold, blunt, or passive-aggressive? Try saying it aloud. Email strips away vocal tone and body language, so make sure your message still sounds human, respectful, and in alignment with how you want it to land.

⦾ Write with empathy, even in those difficult moments.

4. Is This the Right Medium?

Some messages (especially those involving feedback, conflict, or nuance) deserve a live conversation. If the message might cause confusion or tension, consider a call or video chat instead.

⦾ Use email for clarity and ease, not complexity or avoidance.

5. Is My Message Clear and Concise?

People scan emails. Get to the point, organize your thoughts, and use plain language. Avoid jargon, long blocks of text, or burying the ask at the bottom. And remember, a little white space goes a long way!

⦾ Clarity is key for effective communication. And it takes a minute, so give yourself the time you need to write simply.

6. Have I Considered Their Communication Style?

Think about how their natural style preferences and needs might impact how they receive your message. Do they like to get straight to-the-point or do they need a little personal connection? Are they big-picture or detail-oriented? Tailoring your approach to their communication style helps create ease and receptivity. A little flexing goes a long way.

⦾ Style flexibility strengthens relationships and helps build trust.

7. Would I Be Okay if This Were Forwarded?

Emails have a funny way of finding new audiences. If your message was read by your boss, a client, or a wider team, would it reflect well on you?

⦾ Communicate like everything is public. Because it might be.

Pausing to reflect influences both your message and your professional presence.

When you realize that every email has the power to shape your reputation—for better or worse—taking a few minutes to pause and reflect doesn’t seem like such a big deal. So why not check in before you hit send?

Let’s put it into practice:
Try these 7 questions with your next email. Even a 30-second pause can shift the tone, outcome, and energy behind your message. Chances are, you’ll feel better…and so will the person on the receiving end.

Here’s to thoughtful pauses and meaningful messages. Because what we say—and how we say it—has the power to build trust, shape perception, and elevate every interaction.

Happily,

Maryanne

7 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Sending That Email